"That makes one feel guilty!"
I hear this a lot often when I meet new people and tell them about my work.
After digging a little deeper, it’s obvious where this comes from:
They feel guilty because they know they “should” focus more on their fitness and health.
For many, it’s been a goal for years—yet something always interferes:
- Their business
- Their family
- Their job
And maybe you can relate:
- You have a desire to get into better shape
- You also fear that your everyday life would suffer if you prioritize that
This conflict is driving you nuts and stops you before you even get started.
So what do you do about it?
You have two options:
- Continue to let it drive you crazy
- Resolve it and use it as fuel to finally crush your goals
If you’re ready to take option two, keep reading.
I'll show you how to overcome this issue and boost your fitness, no matter how busy you are.
Let’s get started!
Recognize the source of this conflict
Emotions serve as signals.
Guilt indicates you're acting against your values.
For instance, feeling guilty for hurting someone may urge you to apologize and mend the relationship.
But guilt can also stem from failing to meet either external standards or personal expectations.
The first step is to get aware of what exactly is going on.
Here are some questions that will help you do that:
- What causes you to feel guilty?
- What core value is being violated?
- What expectations are you not living up to?
Also, you might fear some dire consequences for acting one way or the other.
Let’s get aware of this too—fill in the blank for these sentences:
- “If I do XYZ, I fear that ___ could happen”
- “If I don’t do XYZ, I fear that ___ could happen”
- “I have been doing XYZ because I fear that ___ could happen”
- “I haven’t been doing XYZ because I fear that ___ could happen”
Take your time to journal on these.
Critical thinking and questioning
Let’s say you went through those questions and came to the following answers:
“If I start to workout, I fear that my business might suffer because I won’t have as much time to grow it.”
“If I don’t start to workout, I fear that my health will get worse.”
In this example, there are two conflicting values:
- Success in business
- Health
You feel guilty because you think you need to sacrifice one to honor the other.
But are these assumptions really true? Question them!
Look for counterexamples:
- Are there any successful entrepreneurs who are in great shape (there are)?
- How are they able to accomplish both goals?
- What are they doing differently?
The more you can find counterexamples, the easier it’ll be for you to let go of these limiting assumptions.
Aligning those values
If you've followed steps 1 and 2 correctly, you're now aware of your conflicting values and unfounded limiting beliefs.
Let’s take that example one step further:
In what ways would working out benefit your success in business?
Here are some possibilities:
- Relieving neck and back pain boosts your focus and productivity
- Improved fitness enhances confidence, noticed by clients and coworkers
- Better sleep and more energy from regular workouts increase productivity, even if it takes an hour or two weekly
Now you’re not just resolving this value conflict. You’re discovering how those values can support each other!
At this point, you’ll start to feel strongly motivated to take action.
Here’s how to go about it:
1) Create a goal that encompasses your core values
This is key to staying motivated and avoiding the guilt-trap.
Let’s take the example from above:
Success in business is the core value, and you also want to work on your health.
Here’s what a suitable goal could look like:
“I am going to drop 20 lbs over the next 6 months to feel more energized and confident. This will allow me to work more effectively in my business, making me more successful.”
Make it as specific and clear as possible.
Read this article for an extensive guide on how to incorporate your core values and identity into your goals.
2) Build new routines into your lifestyle, NOT the other way around
Many people assume that they need to overhaul their entire life and make it revolve around fitness to see results.
This is a big mistake: It’s not sustainable and you’ll quit shortly afterward, leading you down a spiral of frustration.
Instead, start with small changes that have a big impact.
Here are some examples:
- Take active work breaks
- Optimize sleep quality
- Drink more water
Over time, you can always add more once you’ve built routines.
I wrote about more ways to get fitter, without sacrificing time here.
3) Build habits
“You don’t get what you want, you get your habits” - Jim Fortin
92% fail with their fitness goals because they neglect the importance of habits.
Here’s how to build habits:
- Have a goal that encompasses your values
- Break down the habit so that it’s easy
- Set yourself a cue to start the habit
- If you feel resistance, focus on your vision
- Get consistent for at least 21 days
Read a full article on building habits here.
Conclusion
Guilt comes as a result of acting against one (or more) of your core values.
To resolve it, start by identifying the jeopardized value and the limiting assumptions.
Then, question them critically and resolve the conflict.
After you’ve done this, use the motivation you’ve gained to build habits—which will create your goal automatically.
Are you serious about finally reaching your fitness goals in 2024?
If so, I can help you.
If you're a driven entrepreneur or creator and looking to:
- Efficiently manage stress for better health and productivity
- Drop up to 20lbs in 90 days, without the diet-hamster-wheel
- Reach your dream physique in just 2 hours per week
Click HERE for a free 30-minute strategy call where I'll show you exactly how it works
