Imagine you're at a powerlifting competition, attempting your first Squat.
You miss it, and the pressure builds as you approach your next chance.
Will you take your shot?
Or are you still stuck in your head, ruminating about your first miss?
Here’s my biggest learning from those competitions:
Recovering from setbacks fast is more crucial than avoiding them.
And that applies to everything in life:
Facing rejection while building your business
Recommitting to your workouts after falling off track
Eating healthy again after splurging on your vacation
The reality is that no one who has achieved what you want did it, without setbacks.
Take Steve Jobs as an example:
He got fired from his own company in the 1980s and NeXT and Pixar, both of which faced their own challenges.
But later, he came back to Apple leading to the creation of products like the iPhone.
The real danger lies in dwelling on your mistakes:
Negative self-talk can hinder progress more than failure itself.
It erodes your self-esteem, making you question your abilities and limiting your potential.
In this newsletter, we'll dive into a process that will transform the way you handle challenges and setbacks.
You can apply every time something doesn't work out:
Be it your diet, your workout routine, or a business strategy.
It will help you to achieve your goals easier in the future, without getting stuck in the shame spiral.
Keep reading.
How to let go
The simplest way to move on would be this:
“Just let go”.
But I know from experience that if you’re in this negative spiral, it's too simplistic.
You need a system to rebuild your confidence, learn from failure, and then move on.
To do so, we will use the Triple-A-Process:
1) Acknowledge:
“Don't be afraid to fail. Anything that I've ever attempted I was always willing to fail. You can't always win, but don't be afraid of making decisions.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger
When faced with failure, we often make two common mistakes:
The first is avoidance.
You skirt the issue because it's uncomfortable.
But avoidance only prolongs the pain:
Your belly fat won’t go away if you stop looking at yourself in the mirror.
The second mistake is beating yourself up and calling yourself a failure.
Self-pity will erode your self-esteem and render you incapable of changing anything.
At its worst, this can cause burnout if you value achievement and excellence.
Instead, practice honesty by acknowledging the situation.
And no, this doesn't mean that you throw in the towel and accept it as destiny.
It’s all about facing reality, and taking self-responsibility - unless you do so, you can’t change anything.
Second, it’s crucial that you acknowledge yourself.
That can be hard, especially if you fail to achieve a certain goal for an extended period of time.
If you regain the weight you’ve just lost for the third time, it’s easy to label yourself as a hopeless case and give up.
Truth is, failure is a part of the game.
Take Michael Jordan as an example - he said:
“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Imagine he gave up after one failure and buried himself in self-pity - he’d never had a career.
Unfortunately, that's what we do:
We go into self-pity for missing a workout.
We beat ourselves up after overeating for one day.
We think the world ended because we had a bad month in business.
Let me ask you this:
Has beating yourself up ever solved the problem?
No?
Time to stop and move on to step #2:
2) Analyze
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Edison
The goal of this step is to learn from your past experience.
In its essence, failures are unmet expectations.
To grow, you must dissect these moments and learn.
Here are three questions that will help you:
What went well?
This is something you'll easily forget, especially if you tend towards self-loathing.
You won’t believe how many times I have people on my call who stick to their training for 2 months, miss a single workout and start beating themselves up over it.
Even if you didn’t get the results you anticipated, there's a chance you’ve already done a good part of it right.
Maybe you just need a few tweaks.
Don't dismiss your efforts - leverage them to boost your confidence going forward.
What went wrong?
Now, get to the core of why it didn’t work.
Let’s say you start a diet, follow through with it for 30 days, but start regaining weight:
What’s the cause of it?
Did you make the diet too strict?
Were you still able to enjoy food, or was it a brutal grind?
Did you consider your stress level and lifestyle requirements?
Look for patterns that contributed to your failure.
We will use them in the next section.
What did you miss?
Did you lack skills, knowledge, or awareness?
When I started my business, I lacked a lot of what’s required to succeed:
Communication skills, work-ethic, productivity, etc.
That’s why it took me over 6 months to get my first client
Things only started to take off once I’ve filled those gaps.
Ask those tough questions - self-reflection is how you learn.
3) Adapt and move on
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result” - Albert Einstein
Don’t fear mistakes, fear repeating mistakes.
With a clear view of the situation and regained confidence, it's time to adapt:
What would a successful person do differently?
This is one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself.
It helps you get a fresh perspective that will trigger new and creative thoughts.
How can you do it better next time?
Use the new knowledge and perspectives you’ve gained.
Make a plan moving forward.
Remember, initial attempts rarely match our imagination.
Iteration is how you win.
And finally:
Move on!
You’ve acknowledged your situation, restored your confidence and analyzed your strategies.
At this point, you have two choices:
You can continue to beat yourself up over your failures for eternity.
Or, you can move forward.
You can’t change your past.
All you can do is learn from it and start acting differently today, so that you can create the future you desire.
Resilience is a universal skill for success.
Getting back from setbacks is a vital skill that you have to master to be successful - no matter if you’re an athlete, entrepreneur or want to lose weight.
Use the Triple-A-Process to make peace with the past and move on:
Acknowledge: Face setbacks head-on. Stop avoiding and self-blaming. Embrace reality to empower change.
Analyze: Understand what went well and wrong. Seek patterns and lessons for growth.
Adapt (and Move On): Embrace a successful mindset. Plan your next steps based on newfound insights.
Remember, releasing setbacks is a skill.
Letting go might be challenging initially, especially if rumination is your habit.
But as you practice, it becomes easier.
And guess what? Your results will reflect this positive shift.
If you want to learn the easiest way to your dream physique in 2 hours per week, without counting calories, endless cardio, or fad diets, click this link to hop on a free 1:1 call with me.